Why do I say this? That’s because experiences certainly usher change(s) in you. You’ll feel it. Gradually rather than immediately.
Look, a change is good. Its always good to go through changes. Changes mean that you’re alive, and not stagnant. And in order to move forward, one has to go through changes.
But, what I realized is that, some experiences work in 2 different ways. Not only that now, you’re positively changed, with a healthy mindset, perhaps, becoming more realistic than ever due to the experiences, thinking about the future, rather than the past, smiling and laughing more than crying, BUT, it has also robbed you of some of your endearing qualities. In other words, some important qualities of yourself were also lost along the changes. There’s no more of those enduring optimism. Idealism is snatched from your imagination. You’ve becoming numb to certain emotions and feelings. A lot of things now sound rather like clichés and rhetorics rather than possible realities. You have, dare I say, become less than a human that you used to be.
Your near and dear commented positively on your new self. And that’s because they’re not you. They don’t see that mountain of dilemma that you’re sitting on. But that mountain of dilemma is real.
You realized that you have changed. Actually, earlier than other people did. But, in having a new self, you’re also deeply missing your old self that has been snatched unconsciously from you. And perhaps, that’s just how it’s meant to be: “You get some and you lose some”.