It was a beautiful sunny day with a cooling light blue sky. I noticed those particularly well that day. I was seeking Him in those puffy clouds and I remember the continuous screaming of my heart : “Ya Rab al samaawaat al Ard!” (O’Lord of the Heavens and the Earth!) The mixed emotions of anger and pain as a reaction to what I just found out was a fertile ground for shayateen to cultivate their attacks of doubts, suspicion and insecurities. I realized that, too. The famous hadith of “the REAL patience is at the first stroke of calamity” keeps ringing itself in my head. The battle was intense between my consciousness and the flaming fire of anger fanned by the devils.
But sometimes when you sincerely ask Allah to calm your heart down and eliminate the chaos within you, He answers you. And that swiftly, too. Sometimes, we fail to notice the speed at which He answer our desperate calls. Perhaps, it is the blindness of our hearts that forbids us from noticing this, consequently making us fail to stop and wonder at the overflowing mercy and love that He continuously showers upon us.
And then the calmness slowly settled in. And in that calmness, I found that my du’a was answered. The conviction was found. The much-needed conviction that everything is going to be okay! I have a thing of always trying to look for someone to comfort me in times of confusion, grief or pain. But in my desperate search for that someone, I made a quick du’a along the way. I remembered Him amidst the chaos of my heart. Thank God for that! For the feeling that I felt immediately then was different and unperturbed. Surely, radically different than if I ever sought a company and wishing that he or she will eliminate the chaotic feelings within my heart.
Indeed, He is the Keeper of hearts. He protects and guides your hearts. When you’re sincerely at lost and you know, ONLY He, al-Rahman who can help you escape the situation, nobody else will, only HE will.
I did not need anyone to give me a comfort or an answer to reassure me any more. Sometimes when He wills it, the answer can be shoved right in front of you. Clearing you of all the doubts and prevents you from all possible heartaches.